Have you ever felt like your life would be so much better if you were in charge; if you were self-made, or could influence your destiny?

I know this feeling well. I spent many years trying to build a healthy business and a happy life – and find a balance between them. It began to seem like my desire was the very thing holding me back.

Here’s how I learned to stop wanting and start having. When you turn your energy into your personal prayer and set it into motion, the idea of having everything you want drifts into reach.

1. Recognize the gift of the present. 

The first step to living a life on your own terms is to disengage from the past and become fully present. None of us are (really) a victim of our past when we are living in the present. We simply think we are when we’re living from the perception of the past reality. Studies show that we make 35,000 decisions each day, and 70% of those are made without considering our values.  For most of us, it feels like we’re living in a karmic cycle trying to heal our last hurts, or circumstances we wish would have been different. 

Well, I’m here to tell you that none of that condemns us to a sentence of victimhood, unless we continue to feed that ugly beast. When we become aware of this truth, we begin to catch glimpses of our true potential, and begin to believe it, and take steps to create it. No more waiting. No more excuses. And, the more practice we get, the luckier we get. 

2. Practice gratitude to grow.

The practice of gratitude is perhaps the most underutilized way to grow spiritually. It’s also the fastest way to connect with the joy of being alive. Research has even confirmed the benefits of giving thanks. Martin Seligman’s Reflective Happiness study found that 90% of people said that expressing gratitude made them more joyful; 84% said it reduced stress and depression; and 78% said it gave them more energy. 

Before I get out of bed each morning, I pause to appreciate what I have in life. I personally list out 50 things that I am grateful for each day, before I even get out of bed. It sets my day into motion and turns me into a magnet for more of the same. 

Endless hours of shopping for the perfect purse, or vacation spot, will begin to subside as you begin to co-create your own unique destiny right from where you are, with what you have now. I assure you it’s very real and the price of entry is opening your heart through gratitude. It simply lifts the spirit and connects you to the Devine within. 

3. Don’t conceal your light, reveal it (and watch it spread!).

Each of us was born into life from a woman’s womb- a place of growth, nourishment, protection, and possibility. We come out perfect, unbiased, trusting and fully dependent on our parents. Over time, our dependence shifts to employers for income, farmers for food, engineers for all the conveniences we depend on, and friends to keep us sane, but we still need connection.

One of the most powerful things I’ve learned in life is that my own light grows when I love, and when I serve something bigger than myself. Joy follows, like a big happy bloom. Next time you see someone in need, act. If you feel joy, your light will grow, attracting more opportunities to serve. In my opinion, this is truly the only way to find one’s purpose, and to find true happiness. I follow joy and it always lights the path to my potential. As an employer, I’m led the same way, and I encourage my teammates to have faith and to trust in their own North Star. 

4. Embrace yourself to accept others.

I had a pastor tell me once that we’re all living on a different spiritual level. Every single one of us. He went on to say that we’d never fully understand another person as we’re all created different but fit together like a puzzle. 

I quit judging others from my own perception and realized it’s our responsibility to see that uniqueness in others, without losing our own sense of selves, becoming enmeshed with it. 

We must never forget that we have free-will, and an entire universe built to nurture our uniqueness, just like a mother’s womb. Cosmologists say we’re made from star dust, and scientists have proven it. We’re all unique, yet we’re all made of the same thing; it’s up to us how these elements take form. There are billions, trillions, gazillions of possibilities- all unique. I hope this blog post inspired you; and that you accept all that you are, which is a genius in your own right.